


A Poorly Thought Out Wish

by Orajje



Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: Being Homura Is Suffering, Being Meguca Is Suffering, Except Coolmura is forcefully switched back to Moemura, Gen, Mind Manipulation, Mistakes, Personality Swap
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 07:41:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29756313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Orajje/pseuds/Orajje
Summary: Sayaka realizes magical girls naturally have healing powers, and thus she can heal Kyousuke without a wish. Using the opportunity to make a different wish when Homura appeared in front of them.This one was even less thought out, and had far more consequences.
Relationships: Akemi Homura & Miki Sayaka
Comments: 4
Kudos: 22





	1. Chapter 1

Sayaka walked with Madoka and Mami, as the latter showed them what being a magical girl was about, and hunted for a witch.

She wondered… Mami had been able to heal Kyubey… so why couldn't she…? "Hey Kyubey, if I became a magical girl would I be able to heal Kyousuke's hand?"

The white cat thing looked at her for a moment from Mami’s shoulders, and then said. "Of course! Healing is a skill all magical girls have access to, although some are naturally better than others."

Sayaka nodded, and continued thinking. she wished for something, she could heal Kyousuke herself… so she should make sure not to waste the wish.

But what could she use it on? Sure being able to grant two wishes was nice but… she needed something to wish _for._

When they found and entered the labyrinth, she watched as Mami fought. Fought to save people, and destroy evil.

She wanted that.

She wanted to help.

Even after the witch was defeated, she wanted to help in some way.

Then the transfer student approached, and had what was probably a very polite argument with Mami. Saying something about them not contracting, and other stupid stuff. She kinda wanted to give the girl a piece of her mind but… she looked at Madoka, who obviously just wanted them to all get along…

… actually, that was the perfect thing to wish for! Even if she couldn’t stand Akemi, she could at least try to give her a chance. That stick would have to go first though.

She turned towards Kyubey, who was still on Mami’s shoulder. Causing the black haired girl to look at her in confusion. "I wish whatever put that stick up her ass would be healed so she can move on and be like she was before it!" She yelled out, shocking the girl so much she didn't move.

Then the glowing started. 

And the _pain_.

It was brief, but there, and hurt immensely for that brief moment. 

As she reached out, grabbing the newly formed, blue and glowing soul gem out of the air. She looked and saw Mami and Madoka staring at her in shock, causing her to scratch the back of her head in embarrassment. "Sorry about that, I just figured that Madoka wanted us to all get along, and I think I can accomplish what I want with just my magic."

Just as Mami was about to say something, they heard the transfer student begin talking. "W-what did you do to me!?" They all lashed their heads around, and watched as Homura started _crying_ , and staring at her hands like they were alien.

… what?

After that, Homura was crying too hard to speak, so they ended up taking her back to Mami’s house for now, as they tried to figure out what was going on.

Or, more specifically, _what she had done without thinking through._


	2. Chapter 2

It felt _wrong._

Everything felt _wrong._

Like someone had gone around her brain and messed with things as they pleased. She could feel her old traits and habits resurfacing after who knows how long. Suddenly, all the emotions, thoughts, everything. She wasn’t holding them back anymore. She _couldn’t_. For a moment she thought she was going to be overwhelmed by despair, and become a witch.

… but she didn't. She couldn’t feel the immense sadness she usually had within trying to overwhelm her. Homura had no idea what that meant, so she reached out slightly, halting, towards the memories she tried to avoid.

… as she thought about them, the events that had happened over the past timelines, and felt a shiver run down her spine. The memories felt… almost detached, she still felt sad thinking about them. Still horrified. But it was more like these were actions that happened to strangers, or a _very_ long time ago. 

It was one of the most profoundly disturbing experiences of her life. Like someone had pulled out the floor from underneath her mental state.

Like _Sayaka_ had.

After her accusatory question, she had ended up on the ground, emotions too strong to stand. 

When Madoka got close, and hugged her. She didn’t resist. Not that she would've, or even could've. While her personality had been twisted, bent over backwards, she still had something in common with her… deleted self.

She would do anything for Madoka, and with the many years of loops… those feelings had only grown stronger. So much stronger.

Mami took her other side, supporting, and picking her up while Madoka kept a hand on her shoulder. She almost wanted to resist, some part of her remembering what Mami could do. But the rest remembered how kind she could be as well, never as kind as Madoka, but kind. Homura understood far more about her senior now then she used to. Before that timeline.

She would be fine, as long as Mami didn't learn about witches. For now at least.

Then there was Sayaka, the girl walking at the back. The girl getting _looks_ from the other two. She couldn’t tell exactly what kinds of looks they were, but their faces weren't effectively within her line of sight, but they seemed to be making the girl… disappointed in herself.

Homura could barely begin to describe how she felt about the blue haired girl right now. On the one hand was the part that was horrified by what had been done to her, angry at Sayaka for it, and terrified of the consequences. But… there was a part of her that remembered being friends with the girl in earlier timelines. Still cared about the girl.

As she cried, brought to Mami’s apartment, and given some time by her own request, she would admit that part of her was grateful. 

Was grateful it was no longer painful to look at her friends, to hear them speak.

Was grateful… because she had been failing.

She had failed every time so far. Every attempt fizzling out with her friend's trust.

… she hated to admit it, but her friends trusted her more, _liked her more_ , before she gained the skill and knowledge necessary to protect them.

… maybe it was just her old personality talking, but she felt a bit of hope that maybe she could do it. Just maybe it would be possible for everything to be fine.

She was rather silent when she ate with the others, Sayaka’s head down, while Madoka attempted to keep a conversation going. 

_she would be okay._

She listened as Mami attempted to talk more about being a magical girl. ~~but missing the most important info~~

~~_ she would be alright. _ ~~

Sayaka looked at her-

_**She needed to leave.** _

She hastily excused herself, voice shaking, and headed home quickly.

_she needed to be okay, it was her only option._


	3. Chapter 3

Mami cringed internally as she thought about what Sayaka had done. That wish was… she had no words to describe how wrong it was. Not only was it a selfless wish, but she had done… _something_ to Homura. The anomalous magical girl basically ending up immediately breaking down and hiding away from everyone in a separate room. She had seen many magical girls over the years, but she had never seen such a quick change,

She shivered when she thought about how much the girl's personality seemed to have changed, the wish itself hadn’t sounded too bad, but Homura seemed to practically be an entirely different person… Her only two guesses where that the girl had ‘gotten a stick up her ass’ a really long time ago, or something _really_ bad had happened, possibly both.

She knew magical girls have died, that horrible things can happen to them, and she honestly wasn’t sure she wanted to know what happened. ~~_she remembered what made Kyoko change drastically, and shivered again._~~

She sighed, then turned to Sayaka while Homura was still off by herself. The girl flinching at the look on her face.

“That was… a terrible thing to do, Sayaka.” She could practically feel part of herself scream at her as Sayaka curled in on herself. “Not only is making a selfless wish a poor decision, but using it on someone you don’t know was wrong. We didn’t know anything about her, we still don’t. You didn’t think about what kind of effects it could have on her.” Mami barely held her stern expression as Sayaka looked down, looking ashamed.

“B- but didn’t you say she was a bad magical girl-” Mami interrupted.

“While I didn’t like what she had done to Kyubey, she hadn’t tried to attack me yet. Not to mention that, as I said, _you can’t assume when it comes to things like this._ You used a wish on a person, and we have no idea what you did to her.” Sayaka teared up at that.

“... I was just trying to help… I thought Madoka would want Homura to possibly be able to join us…” Mami barely kept herself from just slipping and saying it was fine. She didn’t want to lose a potential friend because of this. But would either of them like her if she showed them…? She didn’t know. Not to mention that Madoka was also giving Sayaka looks, even if she couldn’t fully tell what kind of look, she could tell Madoka didn’t approve of what she’d done.

“Maybe you had good intentions. But if you don’t think your actions through you can hurt others. We know nothing about her, and this seems to have affected her so much that bullying is likely an understatement for what it likely feels like.” Sayaka staggered back as if she’d been punched, but she continued. “You will have to apologize, alright? Don’t expect her to forgive you either, as we have no idea what you did to her.”

After a few moments of looking down, Sayaka slowly nodded.

When Homura finally came out, and Mami got refreshments, she watched as Homura and Sayaka avoided each other's eyes. Homura’s surprisingly not bloodshot, while Sayaka just looked deeply ashamed. Just as she was about to start signaling to Sayaka that she had to do it, Sayaka actually locked eyes with Homura, looking like she was going to- “I-I need to leave…” Homura practically _squeaked_ out, before standing up and rushing out the door before anyone could say anything.

… oh dear.


	4. Chapter 4

The walk was silent as they went home, Sayaka looking down guiltily while they walked. Madoka wasn’t sure what to say to the girl. Sayaka had always been nice to her, if teasing and a little reckless. She’d even saved her from bullies years ago.

But the look on Homura’s face… it had been indescribable, and awful. She didn’t want to see anyone look like that again. Homura had gone from a steel fortress that showed next to no emotion, to having a massive breakdown. They didn’t even quite know why, Sayaka’s wish had been relatively alright… hadn’t it? It wasn’t the most thought out, but… 

She wondered whether it had all been an act, and underneath that mask of emotionlessness Homura had always had those emotions.

Then she wondered if those emotions might actually not have been as bad as they were considering the wording of the wish.

She didn’t know.

She wasn’t sure she wanted to.

Homura had seemed like she’d been in agony, hadn’t even been able to maintain composure through a meal without having to leave.

When they inevitably had to separate, Madoka was too caught up in her thoughts to give Sayaka more than a small wave before walking home.

There was just… so much.

She hoped Homura would be okay.


	5. Chapter 5

Sayaka didn’t know what to do. Madoka and Mami were concerned with Homura, not that she could blame them considering how much the girl had changed. Hell, she was pretty sure she’d seen some fear in the black haired girls eyes occasionally when she’d gotten near the girl to try and apologize. Which had led to her not even being able to get in a word.

It was disheartening.

She’d _really_ fucked up.

Now Mami trained her, but it was so awkward that it was mostly just Mami handing her notes. Madoka didn’t seem to know what to say to her, even if she came with her on witch hunts. While Homura was just doing so many odd things. She couldn’t even seem to decide on a look anymore, awkwardly changing between a combination of braids, glasses, and the straight hair, no glasses look she’d come with. It was odd seeing the different combinations, constantly being switched between and combined.

She still just felt more wrong the longer she saw it though, till one day she decided to try and find the girl after school. She eventually did too, finding the girl trying out… guns? She almost wanted to say something, but it wasn’t like she could judge the girl anymore.

“Hey-” Before she could say anything, the transfer student turned to her, startled and looking terrified. Before the girl could excuse herself, Sayaka continued. “Please, don’t leave… I… I have something to say.”

Homura looked at her for a moment, then narrowed her eyes a bit. “W-why should I…?”

She cringed. “Because… Im sorry.” Homura looked shocked, which hurt. Was the girl's impression of her that bad…? “I shouldn’t have wished for something like that, I didn’t know much about you, and I… I assumed things about you. Now I’ve done something to you that I can’t undo… So I’m sorry, and if you want something from me, even if it's just to beat me up a bit because I was an asshole…” She bowed. Sayaka couldn’t bear watching the girl's face, especially as tears slowly formed and started falling from her eyes as she held back a sob.

She stayed there, waiting for the girl to say something as she did. She wouldn’t blame the girl if she didn’t forgive her. She was a monster, who didn’t think things through _and kept fucking up-_

Suddenly, she shivered as a grief seed touched her soul gem, pulling out the darkness she hadn’t even noticed.

“Don’t let your soul gem get that bad… please. Trust me when I say it's a bad idea.” Sayaka looked up, eyes meeting Homura’s for a second before Homura looked away.

“I-”   
  
“I cannot tell you just how much you… violated me.” Sayaka cringed at the wording, not that she could disagree with it. “You may have helped me a little with the wish. But feeling your personality being forcefully twisted… Not quite being able to force yourself back… it's awful. So I can’t forgive you…”

Sayaka looked down, Homura’s words hammering deep. “That’s fair… I don’t deserve it.”

Homura looked at her for a moment.

“... Defend yourself.”

Sayaka saw Homura’s hand _pulling out a gun-_

She transformed, barely transforming and dodging the bullet in time. She summoned her swords. She almost questioned why, but then decided she couldn’t say anything, as she had said Homura could beat her up… She just hoped the girl wasn’t actively aiming to kill her.

~~She became so preoccupied by dodging the bullets, she didn’t notice Homura’s odd look at her costume.~~


End file.
